Just pull the trigger
by narley410
Summary: Bella, alone dosn't know what to do. Behind closed curtains at her own house dark things happen that take a turn for the worst. The Cullen family moves into Forks, But that still dosn't meaning things will get easier, will the curtain begin to open?
1. Prologue

**Pull the trigger**

**play list- the temper trap- solider on.**

Life is unfair.I learnt that the hard way and still am right now, But i guess some things change while others stay the same. I was 13 years old when I got sent to my drunken fathers place because I wouldn't accept my step father 'Phil' ,well that's what my mother said but now look at me and look how that turned out, I'm just a broken rag doll waiting for the stitches to come undone. I wouldn't exactly say she was caring , but she was the worst mother, I have vague memories of her that threw time seem to fade into nothing , but the bad memories that has taken hostage in my mind.

As i walk into my dark purple coloured shit hole for a room i limp straight to the shower .Peeling off my clothes and looking in the mirror see the broken and delicate doll looking into the glass mirror. I couldn't see one inch of my skin that actually didn't have a bruise on it .As i look up to my face gazing in the mirror and seeing my busted and swollen lips that still has blood still dripping from my nose, i also see two lifeless dark orbs looking back at me,there's no other way to put it , I'm dead in and out ,I'm just a lifeless soul waiting to be taken away from the body that holds me to earth. I let the hot water drip its way all across my bruises as the stinging sensation begins to find its way in my body.I reach up to lather my hair in shampoo smelling the strawberry tinge while after i turn the water off and wrap the towel around my myself.I then tip toe back into my bedroom care full not to make the floor boards creeks.

I slowly put my baggy t shirt on and the matching black boy shorts and grab the thing that would make my pain go away.I look at this object for only a short amount of time before I put it up to my temple and pull the trigger.

Maybe this is how you feel in the afterlife

If so why am I still broken.


	2. No one want

**If some of you Have been reading this story since the start you will know that I've fixed up some errs but im still not fantastic . I've also swapped some of the chapter around. I love reviews but I will not ask you so please feel free to Pm me ideas , comments, constructive criticism and so on : )**

Hide and seek - Imorgen heap

: )

Damn it, I wish my dream was true, but yet again I wish a lot of things and god still never answers my prayers .I look at the clock to see its only 5:30, which meant it was time for me to start cooking him break feast. I slowly got up trying not to make myself in anymore pain then possible and picked out my usual sweats and long Polo shirt. I then limp down to the kitchen and tried to make my father some eggs and bacon. I was never a really good cook.

"Is my breakfast ready "Charlie grunted while making his way down in his police uniform, My father is head chief of the police department in forks. As Charlie walks up and grabbed his food he doesn't leave without kicking my ankle and making me fall onto the floor then preceding to kick me in the ribs twice before he goes back to sit down and eat. I feel tears prickle down my cheeks as I grabbed the counter and lifted myself up to go get my bag and walk to school.

Walking into forks high school is just like walking onto the red carpet but getting disgusted looks because your outfit wasn't good but it wasn't like I was a social outcast it was more like I only had one friend and that one friend sometimes didn't even protect from the evil monsters that I'm still scared of today.

I look up a little to see were I'm going but not enough for the people of forks high to notice the bruises that I cover with my makeup, I walk up to the English block but then suddenly feel the prickly finger nails of someone and get pushed back onto the cold cement. I look up to see non other then queen bee. tears prickle in my eyes as i feel the cuts and bruises i just landed on begin to open up and the bruises begin to darken.

"Bella, Haven't we already told you that stealing from the homeless shelter is bad, we would have thought that the average A standing student would know that, I think the homeless shelter needs their clothes back"the nasally voice commanded me. Lauren average D slut student enough said , her and her minions have made my school life hell and im not meaning that metaphorically either

"Um Lauren shouldnt you be getting to that appointment, you know the one that takes away that face and puts plastic around it , so one day you could maybe look better then you already are, "A gentle yet threatening voice asked

"Excuse me, why would you want to be friends with that , she's nothing a nobody but as for me i-"She was cut off by another beautiful voice, i looked up to see the most beautiful people in front of me ,Why were they here in Forks shouldn't the two girls be on a cover of sports illustrations or something.

"Ha ha you don't see yourself clearly do you Lauren, you think shes a no body but the only reason why girls are probably your Friends is because you always say you got these nice clothes but there really knock offs , so just go you stink is starting to clog up the air system"The little one said.

mine and Laurens mouths were hung open.I then started laughing which hurt my rips alot while Lauren just ran away trying to fake cry so we could feel sympathy for her.

"Are you angels" i asked hoping they were hear to save me from from hell. they just laughed and picked me up with their cold hands and sat me on the ground but not before they noticed me wincing from pain.

they shot me a confused look but then let it pass.

"Sorry about that, are you okay"The tall blond one said, you would have thought two beautiful people would be such snobs but they were the nicest people i knew.

"would you like to join us and our family for lunch today, where new around here "the short pixie beamed at me, i could only return my signature fake smile. without wincing about the marks on my cheeks that were covered up by make up.

"um sure"I replied quietly. We said our goodbyes then i entered my English class and took my Seat waiting for the lecture begin, after a while i zoned out and started doodling on my sheet and making designs.I loved making designs it was one thing charlie couldn't take away from me or anyone Else.

after going from class to class the bell rang which was a signal to go to lunch.i slowly got up trying to act as normal as possible and headed for the lunch room. i usually sat right at the back where no one would come but hey at least it was a seat.

as i opened the door i just went to my usual place , i new my saviour's would never actually like me they probably felt sorry for me.

i felt a tear slip down my cheek as i thought again

_Nobody wants me._

* * *

Half of lunch went by, ,so I'm guessing they either forgot about me or they just acted like they cared and then ditched me.I put my book down and gazed out into the forest wishing and pretending I could be somebody else that wasn't myself. I then felt icy cold hands touch my shoulder ,to say it felt good against my bruises was understatement.I looked up to from my book to see who the hands were, and got greeted with two pairs of topaz eyes.

"Hello again ,I'm not sure if you heard us correctly but we did say for you to sit with us today"Before I had a chance to reply i was yanked up by Rosalie and Alice and was dragged to the seat they were siting at.

"Okay guys as you know this is Bella and she'll be hanging with us today"Alice clarified eyeing the blond man, You definitely tell that this was Alice's other half just by looking at the couple, He was tall and lean, with a nice view of Muscles that rippled threw the shirt he was wearing. Alice then sat down next to me across from the blond man,"okay This is Jasper , my boyfriend"She motioned to the blond guy across from her." And as you already know that's Rosalie and this is Emmet "She musically laughed at the end part" which sat down next to Rosalie and the tall guy that looked like he drank to many shakes, or steroids, either one .

And that's Edward"She pointed to the the god next to me. To say he was beautiful was a understatement , he was the definition of a god and i felt my eyes swoon over the sheer sight of him, His light bronzish brown hair flipped over his eyes falling perfectly across his Topaz eyes and lighting up his beautiful nose . that went down to his kissable mouth.

"Hey there little Belly poo"Emmet yelled, drawing some unwanted attention while then walking up to me and giving me a bear hug.I new he was only meaning good intentions but he squeezed to hard that tears welled up in my eyes, i tried to fight them back but i wasn't strong, I never liked it when a man touched me, it would always bring back the horrible memories that happen every night.

Emmet immediately let go seeing was wrong but only a second after he let go I ran for it.I couldn't help it. I really tried to just be normal for once and i cant even do that for 5 minutes, I'm not worth it.I ran well more like limped out of the school forgetting about my next classes and went to the one place i truly felt safe and calm.

**Well there you have it guys feel free if You want to , to leave a message or Review : )**


	3. Flush your heart

**Yellow- cold play **

After ten minute's of limping or more like falling over thin air or branches I arrived at my destination. I sat by the Pond as I let the silent tears that have been wanting to come out fall down my flushed cheeks.I didn't understand how someone could be hurt so much and I let charlie always beat me without doing anything. why haven't I thought about putting myself out of my misery , I look around trying to calm myself ,I look around seeing the bird's up in the high tree's while the deers smelling the area for danger,It made me smile and think that maybe there is good in the world, that maybe we could all co- exist together. Sometimes I believe that animals have the happy life , their life is much more easier.

Driving home didn't take long but when I pulled up I new that it was not going to be happy night, As I pulled into the driveway their was charlie's police car just sitting there which meant that he was home , which also meant he would have expected me home, the house clean and dinner made.I slowly and quietly crepped up the stairs hopping that he wouldn't hear me but I was out of luck again when the floor boards creaked a horrible sound.I tried to remain calm but in that second that I was trying to catch my thoughts I was thrown down the stairs.

"How come you weren't home"He screamed slapping me across the face while leaving a mark and a stinging sensation across my already bruised cheeks. I could definitely tell that he had already to much to drink as the smell made me gag on site.

"Answer me you worthless bitch"He screamed in my ear , while then smashing my face against the counter, it was excruciating. and Inew from me being late tonight was going to get alot worse.

Darkness surrounded me as I felt Charlie then kick me in the face. The next thing I new Iwas back in the kitchen floor and back in the house that could possibly destroy my life . My own blood surrounded me like a swimming pool making me sticky and smelly.

It was quiet and dark outside so I'm guessing after Charlie had his way with me he went upstairs to his room and went to sleep.I slowly crawled up the stairs trying not to cry as I felt my ribs aching in tremendous pain. I new I couldn't keep this happy facade up much longer. Didn't bother having a shower.i just layed in my bed crying until I fell asleep and returned to my nightmares I wish came true.

And someone would put me out of my fucking misery.

* * *

**Alice pov**

I new Bella and Edward were meant to be , even without my visions I new they had chemistry I just had to devise a plan to get them to together.

"Do you think Bella's going to be okay , because she flew out of the cafeteria pretty quickly when Emmet touched her"I asked my jazz while crossing my legs on our bed.I pulled out a fashion magazine.

"I really dont now but I was getting pretty big emotions coming off of her"Jasper questioned.

"Like what emotions".I asked in a worried voice fearing for my future Bella barbie and shopping partner.

"Well there was only a small dose of love but only after a couple of seconds she was almost bringing me to my knees in self loathing and fear, I don't understand how someone can have so much fear in their body, its something Ive never experienced"he said while then laying down next to me

"But why would she send out self loathing"i Questioned with worry in my voice

"I seriously don't know that answer to that one Alice" I cuddled up to my love as he sighed in content and played with my hair

_i dont get why she would hate herself_

_she is only human after all_

**Bella pov**

The next day I woke up in alot of pain but there was no way in hell I would stay here all day. I shuffled my feet out of my hideous bed and got up,but not before wincing at my ribs. After an hour of trying to put my clothes on Limped down the stair's but luck was in my books and charlie was already gone.I walked out the door and headed off to school completely forgetting about break feast but i guess i wasn't that hungry anyway.

Classes were boring again and thank fully the bell rang signifying to get out of the classroom I grabbed my things off of my desk and headed out the door, kids were rushing in to the cafeteria so they could get their meals for the day, while I just casually tried to walk as normal as I could. As I went up to my locker to put my books in it so it could relieve some tension on my arms it became deadly quite. I looked around to see if anyone was in the hall way with me but I couldn't see anyone.I looked back to my locker putting the rest of the stuff in.

I then felt someones eyes and I immediately tensed up I knew someone was watching me as the hairs on the back of my neck started to stand up. I looked around to see who it was but I still couldn't see anyone. I slowly closed my locker when out of the corner of my eye I saw Lauren .

This cant be good I thought out loud.I turned around and tried to walk fast but because of my bruised and probably broken leg my speed wasn't exactly that fast and she caught up to me pretty quickly.

"Get back here bitch"She screeched pulling my hair down to the ground,while someones hand covered my mouth to prevent me from screaming.

"No one gets out of paying me out and lives with it"Lauren yelled but not loud enough for people to hear us, she then kicked me in my broken ribs,while Jessica laughed and slapped me across the face.I started coughing up blood, and I could feel myself begin to feel dizzy while and Lauren dragged me into a closed up class while i was still coughing the blood up.

"Jessica go clean it up , while i stay here and teach little Bella her lesson"Lauren grinned evilly while Jessica just huffed and did what she was told to, as the door closed Lauren grabbed my hair and lent down to me so she was face to face.

"So little bella what will we do today for your punishment"she sarcastically said.

"Please don't hurt me"I pleaded but it didn't matter anymore because pleading with Lauren was a lost cause.

"Shut up"she then started kicking and punching me in the face and stomach.

I was starting to feel myself slip away when something or someone i should say barged threw the door breaking it in two the only thing i saw before i drifted to my happy place was to black coal eyes looking at Lauren, then i slipped into darkness.

_If their is a hell, _

_I think im living the reality of it _

**_Another chapter DAWN!_**

**_haha : )_**

**_Review if YOU want to it's your choice : )_**


	4. A love was lost

Thanks guy's for your reviews and helping me for this chap ive got 27 REVIEW'S i love you all.

Narley410

TTFN

xoxoxoxo

**Choices**

**play list**

Oasis - Wonderwall

* * *

Emmet pov

Today was boring, all these humans are boring and no ones being entertaining.I walked past the corridors to lunch thinking on how I could prank Eddie boy, but of course the mind reader would hear it or pixie would see it so my pranking days were put to a minimal.I really felt bad for hurting the Bella girl but I swear i didn't hug her to hard,Alice and Rosalie has been giving me a hard time ever since that, I especially have been put in the dog kennel by Rosalie as she wont put out .I busted threw the cafeteria doors smiling my big dimpled toothy grin, while I then walked up to my hot ass women and gave her a big sloppy kiss that got me rewarded with a smack in the head, I swear I lose brain cells every 10 seconds. Half way threw lunch Jasper and Alice ran out of the cafeteria.

"Let me guess smell getting to much for him" I sarcastically said to Edwardo.I looked around the area pretending to chew on some carrot, man I cant believe i ate this shit, it tastes worse then dog crap

"Yer something about Alice needing to talk with him"he replied back in a bored and annoyed tone , well excuse me eddy boy you really need to get laid and get a women or something cause you have issue, Not like I've tasted it though " wink wink" , But I'm being serious though it looks like some weird plastic crap. I'm guessing Edward heard my thoughts as he gave me a death glare which i could only return in my panty dropping dimple smile. I then caught a whiff of something delectable, i looked back at Edward and rose and both of their eyes had turned pitch black.

"Guys we need to go Idon't know how much longer I'm going to last"My Rosie murmured we shook our heads agreeing and headed straight for the car where we could finally breath the fresh knew someones bloody could affect us soo much , I hope Alice and jasper got out quickly enough, man if jasper smelt theirs no knowing what would happen. I'm guessing everyone was thinking the same thing as we all looked back to the school.

"I wounder who's scent that was"Edward said breathing deeply and letting the fresh air cloud his scenes. His eyes turned pitch black , and I could tell he was fighting his instinct tremendously. " Edward bro go " I ordered him , I knew that smell was going to too much for him if he stayed here for too long.

"I don't really care who it was, but I'm guessing that's why Alice and jasper left,They could have told us though i mean like come on we could have killed someone and our whole family would be destroyed"Said Rosalie. We then heard a scream come from inside and our ears were instantly alert.I whipped my head around to see Alice running at us trying to get our attention.

Alice shrieked in fright. "Emmet come with me we need to stop JASPER"Alice screamed to us, i ran in human speed coming after him

**Jasper pov**

I could feel everyone emotions and it was killing me with also on top of my family's blood lust i had to get out fast,I looked at Alice trying to tell her I needed to go and finally she looked my way and nodded knowing i needed to leave, i quickly ran out of the cafeteria when someone in that instance cut them selves , i couldn't hold my self back so i just ran to the delectable smell that was running threw my nose.

i quickly turned to the left heading straight for the door at the end with the black paint, when I saw Jessica cleaning up blood by the looks of it,i dived straight for her covering her mouth so she wouldn't scream then i drank the delectable liquid that was running easily down my throat, the major was grinning and I new deep down in my heartless soul later on I would regret my actions but I couldn't pull away from the sweet taste that annihilated my senses .I could feel Alice's emotions creeping up closer to me , but I wasn't finished just yet, I needed to get to the smell.!

I barged open the door,breaking it in two with my vampire strength and my animalist ways,I looked down to the floor staring at the slow heart beating girl, with blood coming out of her nose.I was going to definitely save the best for last .I went straight for the Lauren girl grabbing her fake blond hair breaking her neck and and draining her blood for her body .I looked back at the new Bella girl ,I was about to jump her and given again when Alice and Emmet jumped me taking me down on the floor next to the thumping victim.I started clawing my way to her snapping at the others trying to get them off of my back i needed to get to her when my mind went blank .This wasn't no ordinary girl , this was Bella swan future sister and the person my Alice cared alot about.I dropped back down onto the ground letting Emmet's arms surround me while Alice goes to check on her.

"Alice I'm-I'm"But she didn't let me finish"Jasper just don't not right now , she's about to die i need to change her, i need to do it for Edward"Her voice broke out the end.I then saw my love bite Edward's love neck and ankles and jump out of the classroom window with the transforming girl.

"Come on jazz,we've got to do something about the girls we cant just leave them there and leave Bella missing"he gestured towards Lauren and Jessica's bodies

"there's only one thing we can do"I paused "burn them burn all the evidence just burn the whole classroom if we have to"i chocked out. I hated myself

.I hated jasper whitlock

"Attention students please evacuate the building immediately and head to the gym, a fire is on going right know, please evacuate the building immediately" Our principle screamed out to everyone. Emmet and I burned the remains of Lauren and Jessica while then heading out the very window to find Alice and Bella.

"Emmet I'm really sorry man, I didn't know what over came me , I just – I couldn't bare it anymore with yours and Rosalie's and everyone blood lust effecting me plus Edwards blood lust towards Bella and then her bleeding, I just couldn't do it man" I choked out , finally letting all my emotions about today come threw, i wasn't every really a person that exposes their feeling and leaves them out in the open.

"Man its okay , I mean everyone has to slip up some time or another, well except Charisle he thinks he all that with his blood lust free vampire needs"Emmet laughed out trying to lighten the mood.

We were waiting behind the bushes of the burning class room for everyone to find out about Lauren, Jessica and Bella dieing in a 'fire' , but only after a short second, fire crews came in with their giant hoses spraying down what was left of the burnt classroom.

We hastily ran back to our house.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT"Edward screamed to me just as I walked threw the door smashing my back up against the door, who new Edward could get violent.

"Well how would you feel ha , how would you any of you feel having your blood lust plus his and her's and then having someone spill their blood" I bellowed to him pointing out to everyone.

"Cut it off guys its not going to save Bella or anyone else with you two fighting like a bunch of 12 year olds your both over a hundred years old so grow up already so ,SHUT UP" Alice screamed at us. We stood frozen not knowing what to say or do, Edward was still holding me up against the wall but then dropped me running up to Bella while then leaving me on the floor crumbling in my own misery of what Ive done.

**Hate me yer i know , haah , review if YOU want to : )**


	5. still hear it beating ?

**photograph- nickel back**

**Bella pov**

"The burning sensation was to much, I just wanted to die and yet fate wouldn't let me. As I felt hot boiling lava enter my skin I tried to scream out yet I still couldn't ,I tried to kick but my body wouldn't let me, I couldn't do anything. As I felt my heart quicken and the larva boil hotter if possible, my heart slowly died and withered away, maybe I was dieing.

Thump..thump..thump

...thump...thump

...thump...thump

...thump...thump

...thump

then nothing at all, the larva completely disappeared along with my now dead heart. My eyes fluttered open, everything was so clear I could even see all the dust slowly trickling down.

"Do you think she's awake yet?" My head immediately snapped up taking in my surrounding's, i wounder who's that voice was.

"Its okay you know" i whipped my head around to none other then Edward Cullen?

"what happened to me" My voice sounded like wind chimes and bells that played a soft melody.

"Listen , as you know my name is Edward from school, Alice's and Rosalie's adopted brother , i know this might come as a shock for you but were vampires"he spoke waiting for me to take in everything, i nodded telling him to continue

"Okay before you ask any questions yes we do drink human blood but that's some of us, my family drinks blood off of animals, no we don't burn in the sunlight instead we sparkle , we cant sleep, eat , cry or any other human things , we also cant have children but we have incredible strength hearing sight and sense of smell, anything else you want to add"He spoke telling me all the answer to my questions.I needed time to process everything that was running threw my mind,after a few minutes realization finally came back to me

"oh my god i need to go home charlie is going to be there and oh god"I cried out , i heard shuffling from down stair's then in a instanter everyone was in the room.

"We know what happened Bella"Rosalie quietly said behind Emmet who was randomly protecting her.

"Actually we all do"Alice bounced behind the tall man.

"Where am i" I asked confused , i had no idea where i was, and yet how did they know.

"Right now your at our house that's where Alice brought you after,the blond guy paused for a second,after Jessica and Lauren beat you up , well jasper came and kind of took care of them and almost got you but Emmet and Alice was there in time and Alice changed you".

I looked back at Alice my newly bouncy friend, i ran over to her giving her a hug but stopped right in front of her " i feel great" i gasped in shock Ive never felt this way before, well Ive always at least had one broken bone and since charlie never cared he wouldn't give me tenyol to relieve the pain.I wrapped my arms around the small pixie"Thank you" i whispered.

_Maybe there is such thing as heaven_

**Bella pov**

For two hours straight we spent our time in the lounge room talking about what we were going to do about me and where we were going live.

Jasper still hadn't came back and i could tell that it was slowly eating Alice away, even in a short amount of time they couldn't be separated without feeling each others pain and the worst thing was that she didn't know where he went, he could be in Canada for all we know. It was all my fault if i hadn't spilled my blood and took the day off school Jasper wouldn't be away feeling guilty,And when Alice wasn't happy everyone wasn't. I looked at everyone one by one i wished that for once i could read their mind and feel their pain that Ive caused.

**Rosalie** _she's so much prettier then me, it so unfair. _If only her thoughts were true

**Emmet** _finally human bella gone and replaced with awesome hot vampire one. _Kind of disturbing

**Esme**_I'm so happy to have another daughter, i wounder if jasper is okay._Esme always the kind mother taking care and worrying about her children.

**charisle **_how could a little girl survive so much pain i thought by the way i first saw her she was dead or close to it. _Doctor fang , the usual.

**Edward** _shes so beautiful in so many way imaginable. Its like god has sent her down here to test the true man i claim to be, if only she'd give me a chance._

My head shot straight up taking in what Edward thought about me,i still haven't even looked at myself yet and he was saying i was like an angel.

Didn't he get that i sent one of his family members away , I'm fare from an angel id probably go to the lengths of saying I'm the devil reincarnated to look like a innocent girl. I put my head down staying silent trying to search for Alice's mind but got a shrieking sound that came from upstairs. As quickly as i heard it little patter of feet came running into me jumping and taking me and the little person i assumed as Alice down onto the floor.

"oh my god i cant believe you've been talking to everyone and everything and you haven't even seen yourself, how could i let this happen , I'm so stupid"she repeated the end part at least 3 times before hitting herself on the head and dragging me up to her and jasper's room before anyone had a Chance to react.

"Go ill give you a couple of minutes to yourself then we get to play Bella barbie" Alice giggled at the end.I slowly walked into their master bathroom closing my eyes scared i might be uglier then here's your chance Bella just take the plunge i chanted myself.

I slowly opened my eyes gasping at the creature in front didn't skin that was flawless and clear with not even a hint of swelling or bruising on my face was to be nose was more thinner and more pronounced while my lips were filled a bit more and was redder indicating i wouldn't never need red lipstick when i go out clubbing or whatever i peered into my eyes they were golden? Just like the Cullen's , how could they not notice that my eyes were golden, aren't supposed to be ruby red or something.

I stepped back looking at my body and was amazed. I waved my arm around in the mirror and the girl did the same thing , this could not be me. I had the body that could definitely rival a supermodel with long white legs and deep brown hair that came to my waist. My neck was longer and everything was filled out nicely without a hint that i had been abused.I walked back into Alice's and jasper room to find her cuddling up to her pillow.

"alice you don't have to be brave for everyone you know"i quietly said while sitting on the edge of her started sobbing tearless sobs while then putting her head in my lap.i stay for hours probably, know one daring to come up and ruin our moment, I heard someone clear their throat and i instinctively whipped my head around to the source, their standing jasper whitlock hale in all his glory, i have to admit Alice did pretty well

"I'll leave you to alone"i whispered quietly lifting a sniffling Alice off me.

"Wait i need to talk to you" he paused for a second before continuing"I'm so sorry Bella f-for hurting you and everyone else, Alice I'm so sorry for just up and leaving on you i just didn't know what else to do"his voice broke at the end crumbling on the and i rushed over to him, comforting him in any way we could think of.

"I'm not angry at you"i whispered in his ear before giving him a short but sweet hug."I'm not angry either jazzy, its not your fault"Alice agreed with me.i heard a soft sigh come from jasper before he wrapped his arms around Alice and me.I heard a cough behind me again, but it was only charisle

"im sorry to brake up with moment but we've still got to discuss ur father" i immediately growled taking in this information before a evil smir grew on my face.

_I know exactly what im going to do to him_


	6. Half alive

**Hey guys i didnt get that many reviews but thank you to the people who did review.**

**Also i dont own twilight but i do own this story**

**with lots of help from my bestest review'ers **

**please review this chappy with welcomed critesizm**

**jar of hearts- christina perri**

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**Flash back**

_Age 15_

_Why are you with me?_

_I guess I'm just too ugly to look at_

_Do you want me to beg or plea?_

_Then maybe you will cut all that fancy crap_

_Do you think you'd care at all?_

_You never said the word love_

_You think I'm so abnormal_

_You made me feel so undeserving of_

_You're supposed to be so caring_

_Holding me so close to you_

_But all you could do was keep on glaring_

_You made these bruises purplish blue._

I closed my book thinking of my father and how he would never say the word love , but I guess I deserve it. I am filthy and worthless_._

_**flash back**_

_"__GET__ OUT HERE __AND__MAKE ME SOME DINNER YOUR FILTHY LITTLE MAGGOT" My father screamed startling me because he was also banging on my door._

_I opened my door only to be dragged out fully by my hair._

_"I'm sorry" making my voice quiver._

_"You really think daddy cares what you say" my father said smashing my face up against the wall._

_He then left me to clean up my face._

_I quickly went down to the kitchen and started to try and cook spaghetti but only after a couple of minute i some how managed to burn the food._

_"Your no good just like your bloody mother" my so called father said catching me from behind and punching me in the face but not two hard to break my nose but to give me a black eye. I started crying like the useless person i am._

_"I'm sorry father's chocked out , but i then felt immense pain in my stomach making me tumble over onto the floor._

_"I dont want excuses you bitch all i want is is for you to cook me dinner and get the hell out my way" he screamed slapping me a dozen times in my face._

_But there's one thing you can do to make me happy" he grinned evilly at me._

_I started to shrink , trying to get away from his touch but instead he hoisted me up off of the floor and dragged me up the stairs._

_and closed his door_

**_END of flash back_**

That was the night where i lost my virginity to my father, of all people him. anger started to boil inside of me as I remember him bringing back a couple of his friend a week later after he popped me and they did the same things over and over again as I cried for them to stop and they just laugh in my face.

It has been a week since my change and so many things have happened at once I started to walk towards the park holding Edwards hand, it was soft and warm not like before I was happened between us yet, but im already starting to have feelings towards been my rock in these hard couple of on the bright side we found out that I can wish any power I want.

**Flash back**

_"Frigging hell Emmet, no one cares if you lost your bet with jasper" i screamed at him exasperated. _

_He was so annoying and i mean its his fault if he lost the bet with jasper like everyone knows that he's the best fighter there is and Emmet acting all noble and everything decided to test the truth and he ended up losing his arm which then resulted into jasper having a huge ego boost and Rosalie burying his leg somewhere in Canada._

_"Well if I didn't know any better id say you were pmsing" Emmet joked out. Seriously is he that stupid, he knows vampires cant pms because if they could then Rosalie could have kids, any dumb ass knows that._

_"Damn it Emmet I wish you were in __Antarctica__and stayed there till you freezed your ass off and died by eating penguins" I screamed frustrated._

_Then poof he was gone, what the hell. Everyone looked at me wide eyed._

_I heard a ringing from Rosalie's no one seemed to answer it._

_"Where did my husband go" Rosalie asked calmly but you couldn't miss the demand underneath it all._

_"Um I uh"but I was cut off by my cell phone which Esme got me a couple of days ago._

_"What" I yelled out in frustration._

_"Um Bella can you take me back" a scared voice called back to me._

_"Who the hell is this" I said calming down, I looked at everyone else and even they all still had wide eyed expression._

_"Emmet now take me back Ive learnt my lesson" He yelled into the phone._

_"I don't know what I did" I asked charisle who snapped out of his expression minutes ago." What was the last thing you said before Emmet proofed away" He asked with worry in his voice." um i wish you were in Antarctica and stayed there till you freezed your ass off and died by eating penguins , is there something wrong" I feared._

_"Well im thinking that maybe you have a gift" charisle excitedly said like a kid in a candy shop._

_"Like what" Edward question for the first time, my dead heart came alive as I heard the smooth voice_

_"Bella wish for Emmet to come back" charisle said amused._

_"okay, um I wish for Emmet to come back with a penguin" I laughed out. Then out of know where he appeared with snow on his head and a scary face._

_"what the hell was that for , do you understand how frigging cold it is there I may be a vampire but i can not stand almost getting eaten by killer whales" emmet started laughing including rosalie._

_"im sorry" I laughed out falling over onto Edward._

**End of flash back**

I laughed out loud remembering that memory. Another thing that has happened is word that makes me shiver every time I even think or say the Swan

**Flash back**

_"I need to do this alone Edward" I whispered from his bedroom. I didn't wait for his answer I just ran out of his window and headed to the place the was once my home but has been my hell for the last couple of years. I smirked to my self thinking of the all the ways I could torture him and make him pay for all the things he took from me know and in my past childhood._

_I saw Charlie's cruiser out side the house so I didn't bother knocking the door I just let my self in like the daughter I should be to him. I walked at human speed to the lounge room knowing that he'd probably be there, but was wrong their wasn't even any sign that he'd stayed here at all. I walked back into the kitchen_

_, but was wrong their wasn't even any sign that he'd stayed here at all. I walked back into the kitchen and there wasn't even a trace of food or even a can of beer on the counter. I ran up at vampire speed to his bedroom something that made my stomach curdle every time I even thought about going into his room. I knocked the door down hopping charlie was in there asleep even but he wasn't there i started to panick as i could not find him._

where could my father charlie Swan be

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**There you go guys Ive finally given you ur update.**

**so what do you thin about charlie where is he and what happened**

**please review me your idea's i didn't get that many last time lol**

**im beginning to think you guys deleted my story**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW PLZZZZZ!**


	7. What have you done

_I ran up at vampire speed to his bedroom something that made my stomach curdle every time I even thought about going into his room. I knocked the door down hopping charlie was in there asleep even but he wasn't there i started to panick as i could not find him. _

_where could my father charlie Swan be_

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Bella prov

I started running as fast as i could back to the Cullen manscion but time wasnt going fast enough. As i ran threw the forest everything went in slow motion as i ran past the green scenery.I crashed threw the door making it reak in half as i started heaving for air. While the dust particles started to drop for the air everyone was deathly quite.

"Whats wrong sweatheart" Esmee asked with worry clear as a day in her voice.

"He-he isnt there , he wasnt at the house"I mumered in fear, I slowly sat down and put my head in my hands in defeat.I thought that if i was a vampire i wouldnt be afriad anymore, but now im more afraid then ever. It felt like hours before i even looked up to see the other family members.

Charisle was of course worried about my well being , Esmee was scared she was going to almost lose me again. But emmet,rosalie, Alice,Edward and last but not least jasper were all happy. Why?

Dont they see my father is mising, anything could have happend , he could be looking for me right now.

"What did you do" I growled out, Jasper wincd at the burst of emotions that flew straight into me but i didnt have the energy to care at this moment in time.

"What" They all said in union, why where they acting all inocent i new what they did!

"Dont act all 5 year old on me now , thats emmets job" growled as emmet winced when his name was said. Edwardstarted to come forward but stopped when i sent him an icy glare that culd chill a cat.

"I know what you did to my father so dont act all innocent about it cause its not going to help anyone especially you, i thought we were family the type that can abide by some one elses wishes no be a backstabing bitch" I cried out, the windows were starting to shake as Edward kept inching foward.

"Bella we were just trying to protect you" Alice yelled over the wind that was being created at this minute. Protect me? and they call this protecting what the hell are they on about.

" Edward stop!" i screamed i could just see him closing in, then a couple of things happend , One the wind stopped two a blur of emotions knocked us all off our feets and three Jasper picked me up and ran me out the door.

_Some things are just too weird to talk about_

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**I know this is a sad review but at least it is one , Im sorry i havnt updated but i have had other things on, but school break is comming up next week so THERE WILL BE MORE.**

**Also any mistakes that have letters out this is my keyboard not my actual english or poor grammer, sorry but ill be getting a new one soon!**

**Please review **


	8. painted it red

**Guys I'm on school break so you will be hearing a lot more of me in the near distant future. :) **

**This chapter is where Jasper and Bella get a little close, I'm not sure yet if i still want Bella to be with Edward so id appreciate it if you could Pm me or review telling me who Bella should end up with.**

**You took something**

**play list**

**Daniel Merriweather - Red**

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They say when we lose something , we gather two more, or when it feels like all hope is lost you look up to the sky and its regained by the kindness in your heart. From what ivé tasted the world has lied and the truth has been buried to deep down under the earths ground too deep to ever be uncovered, somebody somewhere in the world decided that the truth wasn't good enough for the rest of us , and filled us all with hate and anguish, they took something perfect and painted it red.

I let Jasper carry me off into the distance no bothering to fight the blond soldier like creature that had me on his back like a child. Right now i felt like a child , small , scared to come out of the darkness when its all youvé known, i was scared to be hurt, scared to not be innocent anymore.

I didn't know how long it was before Jasper decided to slow down and we eventually came to a halt on a hill top, the sun was just setting , i guess you could say we were in the twilight zone. I hopped off Jasper silently not strong enough to look him in the eye and sat down on the wet grass and gazed out into the world. Somewhere to my left I eventually felt Jasper sit next to me.

"They'll forgive you , you know" He whispered out , right now i didn't want forgiving , I needed to forgive them, I'm not sorry for them killing my father, i no they did it to ease my pain, but the fact that i told them not to , i trusted them , and this is what i get back. I thought we were family but i guess not completely.

"Why did they do it , why did you do it " I whispered out , i already knew the truth but i just wanted to hear it from him , i wanted answers.

"I think you already know the answer to your questions"Jasper sent a dose of calm and understanding which i gratefully took. "I know how it feels to not be able to control your powers , your emotions , I felt your pain, i feel it " Jasper croaked out , I looked at him and new he was reliving his past. I crawled over to him and sat in his lap giving him a hug, i new it wouldn't be enough but it was all i could do.

" The southern wars aren't all play and game that everyone makes it out, Theirs pain , and Ive had my fair share of marks"he paused for a second showing me his arm that carried crescent marks um and down his arm." I was major Whitlock right hand man to Maria my creator , my job was to train the newborns and lead them into battle and kill of the newborns that couldn't make the cut. It was a brutal time in the southern wars , all their was , was pain and anger those were the only emotions I new and I new them well. Later on I met up with a couple , Peter and Charlotte they had decided to run off away from the violence but asked for me to come , and for once i did the opposite thing people expected I did, eventually Alice found me and took me back to the Cullens , and here we are" Jasper drawled out the last part adding his southern charm. I cuddled close to his neck trying to show my affection. Jasper then felt like my best friend, he made me feel complete and not caged in like Edward, for some reason all the Cullen's made me feel like that, They watched me like i was going to break down any second. Maybe i was.

Alice always making sure to be their suffocating me with love and attention that i didn't need. Emmet always making me be this happy person that im not always am. Rosalie always trying to make me the Cullen's took a part in draining me . They were a good family but i felt like i needed something else . I needed to see the world, be something more.

" Does it get any better" I asked him , their was almost no light left in the sky, making the world seem darker then it already was. The worth things happen at night, murders , rape , violence , it happens in the night , where no one can see you , hear you scream and fight for your life , no one to hear your heart beat rage a thousand miles per second, No one See's you take your last breath , its all darkness.

" For some things yes , but most things stay the same"Jasper didn't seem happy , maybe him and Alice were fighting."We better get back the others will be starting to get worried" I climbed back on his back , to tired to run and we set off back to the house.

"thank you jasper , you really are a true soldier in disguise" i whispered on his neck. I let my emotion do that talking from then on.

_Maybe Jasper was a innocent soul _

_Possibly just like me , he might be looking for guidance._

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_**There you go guys , im sorry this isnt a good enough chapter but i just wanted to get another one in.**_

**_please review i don't know if any of you are reading my story any more._**

**_narley410_**


	9. You're all I have

**Hey guy's I know I havn't Updated in who knows how long , but It has made me want to continue so much when I havn't update people still tell me to hurry :D**

**Well this is a 2,000 chapter Just for you guys , Hope you like it : )**

**The rain coat- Brooklyn Blurs**

**Bella prov**

We took our time walking back to the Cullen's house, silently sending emotions to each other. In a way I felt really sickened about the Family and there decisions concerning Jasper. It wasn't his fault he was the weakest link in the whole family. He had spent many year living off more then his fair share of human blood, then dramatically changing his diet, It must have been difficult.

I took his hand as a friendly gesture , feeling his warm skin under my delicate touch and hummed a silent tune. With me and Jasper we didn't need to fill up our time up with conversation. It was what made me like him even more then I already should, which was very , very bad.

" That a nice chune darlin , what you humming to?" Jasper question , his eyebrows rising into a sorta cute smile. I couldn't help but smiling in return , I guess that was one fact that the humans got true, smiling really is contagious. Spending just this small time with Jasper really did help me figure out somethings, I mean , I want to see the world , Look at the pyramids even if it is dark, I want to do things with my life even if I do have forever.

"Just something I was listening to ages ago, nothing that you would like " I winked in amusement. Well I'm pretty sure he wouldn't like it right? I remember being told I always had horrible taste in music which didn't really offend me like it did other people. Everyone has a different Type of genre.

"Well how about I be the decider of that , sing a bit for me and I'll try to guess it" Jasper grinned , So i started.

" You got the blue blood on your hands

I know its my own

You came at me in the midnight

And showed your soul"

" Very nice I must say , if the artist is as good as the singer I just heard I wouldn't mind that song" He smirked back , I was definitely glad that I could not blush because I would be as red as a tomato at this moment. I straightened my back and walked ahead hopping my emotions were poised and hoped he wouldn't know how much those words effected me. I skipped away letting go of his hand , smiling to myself in happiness.

" Wait Bells I'm sorry If I hurt you" Jasper called out , I smiled at how cute he sounded but quickly shook that feeling off, Hes has Alice , Bella!" I looked back at his topaz eyes and winked , hoping he knew I was joking and ran off " Last one there has to do Emmet laundry for a week." Believe me that is the worst kind of torture possible , Worse then eating the food I used to think was Delicious but now ghastly and disturbing.

I felt like I was flying as my dangly feet just touched the ground , feeling light and the most free I've felt in ages, To me Forks really wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be.

I laughed out loud as I felt Jasper coming up behind me trying to over take the position of first place. I dodged the lively , green tree's , switching my position from left to right to left again so he wouldn't trip me.

I could just see the house in my perplex view then everything went down hill and I was grabbed around the waist heading for the ground. It felt like everything was in slow motion as I was turned around facing the stranger as my back landed on the ground carrying Him with me.

" Gotcha" He smiled against my neck ,smiling in accomplishment, He trapped me from getting up , not that I would any way. I giggled like a creepy school girl having talked to a boy for the first time , as Jasper laughed out loud at my humorous nature. I looked up into his eye's and everything felt normal, accomplished , and mushy.

He's not yours to have Bella , I yelled to myself

_Doesn't mean you can't have a sample of what's to come, that stupid annoying voice reasoned_.

No I have Edward ,

_And that means what exactly , My head taunted._

It means I should just stick to what I can have he is just as good as any man out there, I explained

_Still he isn't what you want , The voice then went away leaving me breathless._

Alice's, Alice's, Alice's The annoying voice said in the back of my head but for once

For once I was going to agree with this stupid voice and go with the flow.

I wanted to do something drastic something just for me. I kept looking from his lips, to nose to his eyes , Everywhere then back to his lips. His body felt amazing against my skin as I wrapped my arms around his neck trying to secretly pull him closer to me.

" Bella" He breathed out , I looked back in his eyes hoping he would understand what I wanted and accept.

He moved his face slightly closer, Bring us close by just millimetres, Jasper was the only thing going through my head. He wrapped his muscly arms around my face tilting my face closer. It seemed like we were there for minutes looking into each others eyes asking a million unanswered questions at once.

I breathed in some much needed fresh air. I reached up to stroke his blond curls twisting them with my fingers and folding them behind his eye's to see his face more.

" Bella , jasper" Oh shit, We both looked up in union to see the intruder, damn this is so not going to be good, trying to explain this.

Where so screwed!

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**Edwards pov**

Just as Bella and Jasper sprinted out of the house , everything dropped including all of us. I looked all over the house to see almost everything was broken in all the down stairs area , starting with the kitchen and ending with all the hallways. Esme chocked a sob back, at the devastation of her antique vase smashed into pieces on the ground.

It was the only real belonging that she had of her real family. And now it was gone never to be repaired. The windows were smashed leaving shards spread across us like sharp rose petals layed from a lover. the house looked awful.

" What did I do to deserve this mess" Emsee sobbed out loud. I felt sympathy for my adoptive mother as she crumbled over into Charisle's arms. It was heartbreaking to watch my family suffer in agony. We didn't know Bella would react like this.

We thought we were just doing something that would benifit her, but I guess we thought the exact opposite of the truth.

I looked into my beloved families thoughts:

_I wounder if Baby B is okays , We didn't mean to upset her so bad_- Emmet.

_How could she do this to us? I thought we were family, but I see this is a new meaning for her_- Rosalie.

_I hope Jasper can heal her, who knows what he's doing , but let's hope he took her away for some time to help and heal_- charisle

_Why did jazz have to go? Why couldn't Edward go_- Alice

I was grateful that everyone thoughts were on Bella in a positive way , with the exception of Rosalie , But I bet she will come around, I hope. I stood up and walked over to the picture frame that had I Bella and the rest of our family outside the house, It was only taken a few weeks ago , but It seemed like months. Glass shards had ripped the picture taking off half of the other families faces leaving Bella's , Mine and Jasper's remotely stable.

I wasn't happy with Jasper and bella going off alone somewhere I didn't know and I could tell Alice felt likewise.

"Ed , do you think we should go check on them yet" Emmet questioned with worry in his voice I knew that He loved Bella very much and would hater for her to be in more hurt then she already is.

"Actually that might be a smart idea for once Emmet " I said sarcastically turning on my heels to leave.

"Edward wait!, Maybe it might be good for Bella and Jasper to have some alone time together" Charisle reasoned, He had a valet point but I didn't want to hear any of it , what if Bella was hurt because of Jasper saying something. I growled at the thought.

" Charisle is right , Jasper is a empathic so he will probably be able to help her more then either of us can right now" Rosalie murmured. I glared at her silently asking if I was asking for her point of view, I walked up stair's and slammed my door like a spoilt teenager that had just been given his first punishment.

I walked over to my bookcase and threw it in frustration , I wanted to see my Bella , where was she? Was she alright?

It was killing me knowing that she was with my brother and not me.

What should I do!

"Knock , knock"

I turned my back no bothering to know who was behind me , the only thing that could make me better was Bella's voice.

" I know it hurts being away from your mate, I feel it to but She's fine with jasper" I could hear Honesty in Alice's words of wisdom , but at this moment all I was thinking of was Bella and it didn't matter what anyone else said nothing was going to change.

"I don't even know why I feel so protective like this but I cant help it, I need help Alice " I shrieked , Putting my head in my hands. Why was this so hard.

"Sssshhh it's going to be okay" Alice whispered out taking me into a hug... After a while I calmed down and stood up glazing out into the woods.

" I need to go for a run" I silently said , I tried to give Alice on of my dazzling smiles , But failed and jumped out of my window.

I ran to my usual meadow smelling the exotic smell of the flowers that calmed me down slightly, Smiling to myself , I stayed there relaxing for a couple of hours wondering how i got here and how I could fix the mistakes i had made. I slowly picked myself up And dragged myself back to the house. There was something I saw though that stopped me in my tracks.

"Jasper , Bella ."

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****Now I know What most of you are thinking Edward caught them, But as you know in all books everything is not what it seems, stay tuned for the next chapter.**

**Review if YOU want to **

**I would appreciate it though as I don't know where to begin for the next chapter. : )**

**song that was used in this is called **

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